Thursday, May 1, 2014

How is a Pit Bull* like another Shot 'o Whiskey?

Like riddles?  Well, I'll be upfront about this one, and tell you I'm not going to give you the answer, I'll just let you come up with one yourself.

I'm just going to babble awhile and see what you come up with.

See, I was talking to a alcoholic/former alcoholic/recovering alcoholic/whatever they call themselves these days, and he told me how, back in the day (early '90's), the guys would joke about the "dwee's" they'd get.

"What's a dwee?", says I.

He says, "DWI.  They were DWI's back then, not DUI's."

Well, hell, times sure have changed, I though, because I DO remember when  driving drunk was funny, in fact being drunk in public was the height of hilarity, remember?

We're talking the tail end of the vaudevillian's lives, and there were still comedians making money off of the funny drunk acts, and stand ups were making jokes about blackouts and Deano, OMG, do you remember Dean Martin?  If not, just hit youtube and search on Deano and Drunk. 

People would bang up their cars and laugh about it.

More to the point, people would kill and injure folks while they were driving under the influence, and they might, might, get a DWI.

Remember that?

Killing someone after you've gotten yourself so drunk you can barely stand, then sliding behind the wheel and mowing that poor person over was considered an "unfortunate accident".

Oh, but plenty of people drove while drunk and DIDN'T have an "accident", so how do you know my drunk driving caused the "accident", officer?

Anyone can have an "accident", after all.

Yep, I remember those arguments, because I remember the birth of MADD.

Remember MADD?  Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

A small committed organization that took on popular culture and actually made a difference, IMO.

It didn't happen overnight, though.  My friend's story about guys joking about dwee's was 5-6 years or so after MADD came on the scene.  Even now, as he pointed out, there are folks driving around with multiple DUI's and still have their licenses, but I tell you, it's a lot better than it used to be.

These days, you kill or maim someone while drunk, you'll do time.

Now, what was my point?  Oh yeah, pit bull owners are always having these "unfortunate accidents", so how are these "capable dogs" like another shot of whiskey?

*For this exercise, the term "Pit Bull" will stand in for what some folk refer to as "Capable Dog", meaning "My dog can shred a door/goat/Maltese/arm/leg/mailman faster than yours can, neener, neener".