Why I hate your Emotional Therapy Dog

So, this just appeared in a farm related discussion group I'm on.  Just FYI, most small farmers don't have a lot of money and a renter or two is a great way to supplement their income, until ...


>>>As of last night, a pitbull puppy was smuggled upstairs. As I slept, they
then texted me that the pitbull is an Emotional Support Dog, with a letter
from a doctor at an urgent care clinic..They therefore do not need to give
me a damage deposit, and I cannot evict them. They started the text by
admitting that they already knew that I was extremely upset by pitbulls,
thanks to my chickens and ducks being murdered, and 3 horses with mouth
sized chunks removed from their legs. But, they have owned pitbulls
before, and their stellar dog training skills will guarantee that my
animals will not be murdered/ These two are in their early 20's. One
horse of mine only cost $2K in vet bills, but the other 2 almost died and
had to be taken to the vet school -- $4K each to save their lives
 <<<
>snip<

 It's gonna cost this farmer $$ and valuable TIME to get these idiots and their "emotional therapy" Pit Bull out of the floor above them!

This kind of slimy con by pitbull advocates is why I do not rent to human occupants..  

Barkin' Dogs, AGAIN!

Damn.  Just Damn. 

After years of battle I finally convinced one jackassed neighbor that they should shut up their effin' dog an' I had Peach and Quiet in the woods for awhile, but no now.

Now, I got a yippy creature on the other side wakin' me up way before dawn and makin' me very CRANKY.

You'd think on near 35 acres you'da bought yerself Peace and Quiet, but NO.  Not a chance with every freakin' Dawg Lovin' moron lovin' their dogs by dumpin' them outside all night long and ignorin' them when they raise a racket.  Damned thing coulda been eaten alive by a mountain lion and it's lazy assed owner wouldn't known.  Idiots.

Rather wish it HAD been eaten alive, however, as this looks to be the latest neighborhood nuisance.

I exercised my lungs for awhile back at the stupid mongrel, but that had no effect.  I'll have to get closer, and meaner, and earlier in the morning for the pinhead owners to notice.

In the mean time, I wrote a nastygram to their HOA, cuz they're stick-up-their-asses gated community folks, don't ya know. 

And I'm thinkin' about the next escalation.  Could log off the 20 acres next door to 'em and put in a Industrial Chicken farm.  They'd love the smell, but it won't be fair to the chickens.

Oh, oh..   free range hogs.  Much smellier, and meaner too.  Poochie wanders onto the place and poochie becomes part of the next pack-o-bacon!

bwahahahahahahaha

Hey IDIOT! Leashes are NOT MEANT FOR RESISTANCE TRAINING!

If your DOG is leaning on its LEAD you're doing it WRONG!

The DOG should not be CHOKING because it's PULLING SO HARD it's cutting off its AIR.

Your ARM should not be SORE when you're done walking your DOG.

You should NEVER be pulled off your FEET by your DOG.

(You should NEVER have your ARM/wrist/elbow/hand/shoulder broken when your DOG pulls you off your feet)

You and your DOG should not be TILTED AWAY from each other at 45 degrees so that you can maintain your balance while your DOG CHOKES itself because it's LEANING ON ITS LEASH so hard.

 

People should not be crossing the street while you walk your DOG because you have so little CONTROL of it, it may pull away from you and kill them/their dog/their kid/their horse/their spouse.

 

Leash train your damned DOG properly so that it isn't a danger to ITSELF or OTHERS, or keep the damned thing at home.

 

If you get out in public and REALIZE that your DAMNED DOG has LOST ITS MIND, or you were unable to properly LEASH TRAIN your ANIMAL, take it back to your CAR/your HOUSE/your CARDBOARD BOX UNDER A BRIDGE and keep it there until it IS.

Pit Bull Breedin' - Better than Havin' a Real Job!

Let me tell ya folks, I got an offer you just can't refuse.  For the price of readin' this post, you'll learn how ta set yourself up with a part time income to supplement your welfare check, your kitchen lab setup, or help you offset those traffic citations.  Hell, once this business gets rollin' for ya, you could even make a decent livin', provided you inherited a dirt patch in rural Missouri, or some such place that don't expect ya to pay much in property taxes.

I know some of you are thinking this is going to be waay too much effort and waay too much money ta get started, but you're wrong.  This'll be hardly any effort at all.  Just clean up some puppy poop (or not) and the occasional blood stain, an' you too can repeatedly post Pit Pups on CL for anywheres between $200 and $700 a head (in between gittin' flagged off for "prohibited posting").

An' them pups that don't sell 'fore they're no longer pup, can be "rehomed" as rescues by either you or your good friends needin' ta move where the mean, mean landlord won't allow 'em.

I tell ya, it's a killer deal.  All you gotta lay out is the price o' one Pit  bitch (or adopt one unspayed) 'n find yerself a Daddy dog down the road a piece. You can get yer stud fee waved for "pick 'o litter" (jus' don't ask what the man means 'bout looking for the most "game" pup), or better yet, ya can jus' stake yer Pit in heat out back an' come what may, cuz them Pit crosses are almost as good as them 100% ones.

And it gets even BETTER, cuz them Pittie Pups go out with an EXPIRY DATE of about two years, 'fore them families that bought 'em wind up offerin' them up on CL or havin' them run off or lose 'em cuz the neighbors can't stand 'em anymore and take matters into their own hands an' guess what...

A good percentage of those folks will be back at yer DOOR wantin' another one just like the pibblywibbly they got awhile back cuz, THERE'S NO BAD DOGS only BAD OWNERS an' this is their chance to redeem themselves.  There's a WHOLE DAMNED advertisin' MACHINE out there sayin' as much, over and over and over again, an' we all know if it ain't true, an' you repeat it enough, it becomes true by magic.

You can thank the HSUS, ASPCA, along with their less reputable brethren 'fore ADVERTISING the great FAMILY NATURE of your pups for FREE, so there will ALWAYS be more damned fools, I mean, potential customers, lookin' for these POOR, MISUNDERSTOOD puppies that you've so kindly produced for 'em.


But HURRY!  Folks are callin' for BSL EVERYWHERE, so you'd better git goin' while the gittin' is good!  With luck, you'l be able to pay fer that BIG SCREEN TV with yer first litter (an' 'fore your bitch goes all pit bull on yer ass).

Happy Holiday Gift from Pregger Pit Nutter

This one deserves a HEADLINE:

Pregnant Pit Nutter tries to Pawn Dog Aggro Pittie off  to give it Room to Roam!

Just look at this fine Craigslist Ad I ran across this morning, doesn't it warm the cockles of  your hearts?

http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/grd/4781711404.html
We have a 3 year old white pit mix named Chance that we adopted from the pound a year ago this November. We thought that our brindle pit needed a buddy so we welcomed a 2nd addition into our home. Needless to say two big rowdy boys is to much for my pregnant self to handle, and we have realized that Chance needs to be in a one dog only home. Apart they are great dogs but together they are trouble makers who constantly doesn't want to listen so I have decided to give it up before my pregnancy hormones get the best of me. Chance is house trained and knows how to sit shake and lay down. He will also cry at the door when he needs to go outside. Although he is very hard headed he is a sweet puppy that wants nothing more than your attention. But you have to watch him around other dogs. If you take him out for a walk get a muzzle because he is not the sweetest dog when it comes to other unfamiliar pups. He loves his tennis balls and will follow you around where ever you may go. We love our Chancy but I can't have two obnoxious rowdy boys and a baby in my household. Our neighbor kept Chance for a month to see if his attitude would change and it did dramatically. He was very chilled out and much more acceptable to listening. I strongly advise that you do not have another dog or bring another dog into your house or you are going to be in for a treat. I would like him to go to a home where he has room to run and roam. We live in the city which is another downfall to poor Chance being cooped up in the house all the time. We take him on walks but we only have so much time in our lives to give him all the attention he needs. If we lived out from the city with more land for him to run free we wouldn't be asking to rehome him but that isn't the case and he deserves more of a life than we can give him! If you want more information on Chance call or text Kelsie at
show contact info
or Michael at
show contact info
We will be glad to answer any of your questions.

Lovely, aitn't it?  Let's send dog aggressive, admittedly command resistive, should-be-muzzed in public moron of a killing machine out to the country where it will have 'Room to Roam'.

Right.  So it can roam right into my farm or my neighbor's farm and kill the dogs, or cats, or chickens, or sheep or alpacas or just about anything else that suits its bloodlust fancy when the freaking animal gets bored.

Thanks for the Holiday Gift, Kelsie and Michael.  We rural folk very much appreciate it.

One good thing, though.  Pittie is white, which makes him a fine target even at this time of year, when it's more dark than light.

Okay, farmers of Western Washington, you know what you have to do.

Just don't shoot your neighbors while you're at it.

Happy Holidays!

How is a Pit Bull* like another Shot 'o Whiskey?

Like riddles?  Well, I'll be upfront about this one, and tell you I'm not going to give you the answer, I'll just let you come up with one yourself.

I'm just going to babble awhile and see what you come up with.

See, I was talking to a alcoholic/former alcoholic/recovering alcoholic/whatever they call themselves these days, and he told me how, back in the day (early '90's), the guys would joke about the "dwee's" they'd get.

"What's a dwee?", says I.

He says, "DWI.  They were DWI's back then, not DUI's."

Well, hell, times sure have changed, I though, because I DO remember when  driving drunk was funny, in fact being drunk in public was the height of hilarity, remember?

We're talking the tail end of the vaudevillian's lives, and there were still comedians making money off of the funny drunk acts, and stand ups were making jokes about blackouts and Deano, OMG, do you remember Dean Martin?  If not, just hit youtube and search on Deano and Drunk. 

People would bang up their cars and laugh about it.

More to the point, people would kill and injure folks while they were driving under the influence, and they might, might, get a DWI.

Remember that?

Killing someone after you've gotten yourself so drunk you can barely stand, then sliding behind the wheel and mowing that poor person over was considered an "unfortunate accident".

Oh, but plenty of people drove while drunk and DIDN'T have an "accident", so how do you know my drunk driving caused the "accident", officer?

Anyone can have an "accident", after all.

Yep, I remember those arguments, because I remember the birth of MADD.

Remember MADD?  Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

A small committed organization that took on popular culture and actually made a difference, IMO.

It didn't happen overnight, though.  My friend's story about guys joking about dwee's was 5-6 years or so after MADD came on the scene.  Even now, as he pointed out, there are folks driving around with multiple DUI's and still have their licenses, but I tell you, it's a lot better than it used to be.

These days, you kill or maim someone while drunk, you'll do time.

Now, what was my point?  Oh yeah, pit bull owners are always having these "unfortunate accidents", so how are these "capable dogs" like another shot of whiskey?


*For this exercise, the term "Pit Bull" will stand in for what some folk refer to as "Capable Dog", meaning "My dog can shred a door/goat/Maltese/arm/leg/mailman faster than yours can, neener, neener".

Not only do I hate THIS DOG

But I also HATE all the doggie lovin' idiots tryin' to save it.

You know what, though?  It makes no sense to argue with idiots or try to reason with the irrational, oh, sometimes it's worth a few chuckles, but seriously, when you get 25K "likes" on a page promoting saving one of these worthless animals and 100X less than that on the poor kid's page who nearly lost his face to the same animal, there's a hell of a lot of mis-directed energy out there. 

To me, that's just energy wasted.

So here're my ideas on harnessing all that pittie pity for good, or at least humiliatin' and scarin' the fuckers off when they won't put their money where there big mouths are.

Any dog, having caused severe injury or death in an unprovoked attack will be spared from euthanasia IF AND ONLY IF the following conditions are met, say, within 30 days, cuz I'm really mean and I get bored of drama real quickly.

 (Warning to all you dangerous doggie darlings, warm up those "gofundme" sites, as this is gonna get expensive real quick).

1.  Funding for all the victim's current and (generously) projected medical bills for the attack must be secured.  Don't know how you pay the family back for a death, but I'm sure the big insurance companies can help ya'll come up with a figure.

2.  Speaking of insurance companies, enough money has to be raised to ensure enough insurance is purchased on the dog to cover any potential future injury, cuz, even if by some miracle the doggie angels raise enough for item #1, nobody believes they'll be around for the next mauling.

3. Enough funding will be secured so that poochie can live out its life in proper containment, say a cage with a concrete floor, steel bars, a roof and lots and lots of hotwire to help it remember not to play with (or piss) on the bars and help it's caretakers remember the same. 
Proper containment includes adequate leashing and muzzling whenever doggie is removed from its regular containment unit an a nice steel box with a few air holes, whenever it has to be transported off premises.

4.  Oh, speaking of caretakers, since they've taken on a known dangerous animal, they will be criminally liable for any violations of #3

AND

any violations of #3, will put doggie back on death row.

5.  To help ease future identification of former death row doggies, DNA* will be taken and placed into a nationwide database funded by the same death row doggie well wishers AND doggie will be marked on the head, sides and back in such a manner that they can be identified from a safe distance.  I'd suggest something like a large, strategically placed, X or a bull's eye.  It shall be legal for anyone seeing such a dog at large to dispatch such dog with whatever means at hand. 

Of course, it follows that former death row doggies cannot be dressed up in stupid costumes, tutus or service vests.



So whatdaya think?  Is that enough? I say if enough yo-yos with enough money want to save these worthless animals, let 'em.  Just make sure they adequately pay the victims and protect the public FIRST.

I have one more thought that I don't understand why we haven't employed way long time ago.  Why don't we pull these dog's teeth, even in "one bite" states?  Hell, felons can't (legally) have guns, why do we not take these animals' weapons away?  Don't tell me it's cruel, I've seen more than one toothless 'old' border collie still handy on the farm, having made themselves that way through a life of fetching. 

Those dogs get along just fine. "Onion" the 'rescued' killer would get along just fine too, and be a fuck site less dangerous.



*I may have freaked a bunch of folks by the sight of "DNA testing" on the screen.  Rest assured, this is for INDIVIDUAL dog identification purposes alone, not any attempt at breed ID.  Microchips have been known to get lost, and can be removed.  DNA is for life.

Rural Dog Wars Part 5 - Know Your State's Laws

Own livestock?  You need to know your state's laws protecting them against dog attacks.

I can't overemphasize this one.  The world has gone mad and ANY time there's a high profile story where a dog is shot in defense of man, woman, child or any critter, the comment sections are FILLED with folks calling for the shooter to be arrested an animal cruelty charges.

After all, the doggie was just playin', don'tcha know.

It's about then I think two thoughts.

One - "I hate EVERYTHING"

and Two - "We're ALL  DOOMED"

but nevermind my depression, let's talk about Dog Laws, shall we?

The State of Washington has some pretty good ones, actually, and they're all on-line, so that's helpful.

Here's the whole lot of them, if you wish to peruse 'em.  I'm only going to comment on the first three, as they have to do with dogs going after livestock.

Revised Code of Washington 16.08.010

"Liability for injury to stock by dogs.

The owner or keeper of any dog shall be liable to the owner of any animal killed or injured by such dog for the amount of damages sustained and costs of collection, to be recovered in a civil action."

Great law, don't you think?  I don't know a single person whose been able to collect damages under this law.  Not the woman whose horse was attacked under her while taking a break at the Nisqually River, or the guy who had two pitbulls attack and nearly kill his two dogs while he was taking them ON LEASH for a run, not folks who have lost or had to repair sheep, chickens, horses, calves mauled by dogs.

I'm guessing that's why the old time lawyers gave us this one:

"

16.08.020
Dogs injuring stock may be killed.

It shall be lawful for any person who shall see any dog or dogs chasing, biting, injuring or killing any sheep, swine or other domestic animal, including poultry, belonging to such person, on any real property owned or leased by, or under the control of, such person, or on any public highway, to kill such dog or dogs, and it shall be the duty of the owner or keeper of any dog or dogs so found chasing, biting or injuring any domestic animal, including poultry, upon being notified of that fact by the owner of such domestic animals or poultry, to thereafter keep such dog or dogs in leash or confined upon the premises of the owner or keeper thereof, and in case any such owner or keeper of a dog or dogs shall fail or neglect to comply with the provisions of this section, it shall be lawful for the owner of such domestic animals or poultry to kill such dog or dogs found running at large."

This is the meat of the law.  See a dog even CHASING your stock, and you can kill it.  Of course, you have to be in the right place at the right time and ARMED.

I'm pretty sure this isn't the right place, however, as you'll likely get charged with endangement if you started shooting at a dog chasing one of these sheep, however.

This farm, btw, is set in Orting, on some of the best farming soil in the state of Washington.  Unfortunately, it's in high demand for housing, so many farms like this one, are now kinds of rural oasis in the middle of apartment complexes.



Anyway, my favorite part of this law is the second piece.  If you can find the damned owners and tell them their damned dog has been chasing your animals, AND they're too damned stupid to keep it penned up afterward, you can shot it anywhere you see if off leash off their property.

I'm so hoping my neighbors dog gets onto my property again and I can get a shot off.  :)

And here's the most interesting piece of the law

"16.08.030

Marauding dog — Duty of owner to kill.

It shall be the duty of any person owning or keeping any dog or dogs which shall be found killing any domestic animal to kill such dog or dogs within forty-eight hours after being notified of that fact, and any person failing or neglecting to comply with the provisions of this section shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and it shall be the duty of the sheriff or any deputy sheriff to kill any dog found running at large (after the first day of August of any year and before the first day of March in the following year) without a metal identification tag."

This one says, I tell you that your poochie has just killed my chickens, rabbits, sheep, whatever, and YOU get to kill your poochie within 48 hours or SOMEBODY's going to cite you with a misdemeanor.

Bet you dollars to dugouts that this law hasn't been enforce in over 50 years.

And the second half is better.  The Sheriff is REQUIRED to KILL any loose dog without a license.

Yeah, that happens all the time.(snort)




These are, actually, good laws, despite the fact that the first is nearly impossible to enforce, the second is difficult and the third is never enforced.

The biggest problems is, nobody knows them, least of all Animal Control.  If you call AC about a dog attacking your livestock, they absolutely WILL NOT advise the owner of the law.  You can forget that last law, they've never even heard of it, and they get rather annoyed when you start quoting the law to them, for some reason.

The Sheriff will, however, as he really is an officer of the law. This is why in states that explicitly allow you to shoot dogs worrying stock, Shoot, Shovel and Shut-up is the last thing you want to do.  You really want these idiots to know you have every legal right to kill their animals.  They'll be less likely to get new poochie to take it's place AND they'll bitch about you to the neighbors and maybe, just maybe, they'll be more careful with THEIR poochies.

Unfortunately, there's retaliation, and that's why you want THEM to call the Sheriff.

Walt's sage advise - give your neighbors a call sayin'  "You're going to want to call the Sheriff as I just shot your dog for attacking my livestock".  They can argue with HIM and get the law straight from the source.

So yes, my friends, if I had the money and the time, I'd protect my livestock like a Rhino in Africa, but I don't have either, most of us don't.

I do have a bit of a dream, however.  That dream is that the doggie licensing agencies would send out a brief "Know Your Legal Obligations as a Pet Owner" pamphlet with each and every license issued or renewed.  This would cover leash law, barking law, as well as biting and livestock laws.

Just a little dream, but a dream nonetheless.

Rural Dog Wars Part 4 - Dog in the Flock

Ever see a bait ball? 

If not, here's a picture for you:

This is the best illustration I can give you of what a bunch of sheep do when they experience a threat they cannot outrun.

Except, more two dimensional and a lot less underwater.

I had the unfortunate experience of witnessing this once, with sheep, not fish.

I was out working my herding dog at a local sheep farm.  We were in a 15-20 acre field with a half dozen sheep or so, when I noticed that the flock in the field next to us had suddenly bunched up, much like the picture above.

That's not normal.  Normally, that 100 head of ewes would spread out and grazing.

Nope, they were in a tight ball and what looked like a darker sheep was running around the outside of the ball, and occasionally diving into it.

That's when I realized that the dark sheep was a dog.

Well, no gun, no fast way into the field, I ran to the fence bellowing my lungs out.

Now, I'm big and I'm loud and I scare most things when I get going and this dog was a wiemeraner (no, I will not look that up) and not a more determined breed, so I got lucky.  Also lucky was the fact that a mile away on the other side of the field it's mistress was started calling the damned thing after I started bellowing how I as going to skin the fucking thing alive.

The whole attack didn't last that long but long enough for me to think "wish I had a gun". 

Followed by "no way in hell could I get a shot off without killing a sheep".

Anyway, this farm is owned by a full time farmer, but it was after her farmer's bedtime so I ran like crazy up to her house and pounded on the door until she got up. 

She grabbed her utility vehicle and I ran back down with my dog and we moved those sheep out of there.

There was fortunately only one casualty, and I got to assist while the farmer gave it a jab of penicillin and we glued its ear back on.  (Yes, superglue was invented for surgical purposes).

Looking back on this I know
- if I hadn't been there that night, the farmer would have lost one or more of her sheep as she was asleep in the house and couldn't have seen or heard anything.
- There's no way a gun would have helped that particular situation.  It was dusk and too far away for a good shot with a rifle, and to all the guys saying "I should have had a gun on me", it would have been a handgun at I was really out of range. Either way, couldn't have shot at all without a good chance of having to tell the farmer that I'd killed on of her sheep for her. 

Guns aren't some magic wand you wave and the doggie just dies.  You have to be in range.  You have to have a clear shot.  You have to have enough space between the dog and it's victim that you don't accidentally take out the victim. 

For every Mark or Walt story, I can tell you a dozen other laments of "if only I had a clean shot" or "If only I'd heard them (baa'ing, neigh-ing, running).

Yes, guns CAN be part of the solution, but we also need laws and we need them enforced.

I'll get to those in the next post.

Rural Dog Wars Part 3 - Shoot, and OMG, the owner IS the Sheriff

Now here's the story Walt tells me some time after he's got me convinced the thing to do is to Shoot the damned dog (if I'm lucky enough to get a shot) and then tell the owner to call the Sheriff himself (that is, if your laws are on your side for shooting the dog).

So, Walt's going down the road and he sees one of his neighbors trying to save that guy's llama from a couple of dogs.  Walt helps out, and then they track down the dogs to the owners.  They're new in the area, and the husband happens to be the new Deputy Sheriff.

Walt and his friend (politely) explain to the new Deputy Sheriff the situation.  The DS, says, well, they're my wife's dogs and I'll talk to her.

Sometime later, Walt gets a call from his friend sayin'  "can I borrow your tractor to bury something?"

Sure enough, the dogs got out again and went straight for the llama.

So, Walt and his friend, more than a little afraid of the law, bury the dogs.

A couple days later, the Deputy Sheriff stops by when Walt and his friend are working on a fence.

"Have you seen my dogs?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you now what happened to them?"

"Uh, yes, sir".

...

...

"I shot them.  They were going after my llama again."

"And I buried them."

...

...

"Okay.  I'll talk to my wife."


Now, I haven't seen Walt for awhile. I assume he didn't go to jail, but I'm also assuming he's not going to get any Christmas cards from his new neighbors any time in the near future.

Rural Dog Wars Part 2 - Shoot and Call the Sheriff

This story's from a guy I'll call Walt who does work for me on my place.

Walt is also near my age, and grew up on a farm in the county next door and has raised cattle all his life.

He now has about 100 acres and one thing he does to make money on that acreage is to buy day old, or so, dairy heifers from the dairies, and raise them until their old enough to breed and sells them back to the dairy farms.

You might wonder why dairies would sell their heifers only to buy them back a year or so later.

Well, raising a dairy calf is hard work, as momma's milk goes into the bottle or carton.  The baby gets sold and is bottle fed in a barn until it's big enough and strong enough to be weaned and put out on pasture.  The heifers are given time to grow, then bred and the dairies buy them back as close to milk production as they can.

So Walt's got a barn full of baby calves and one night there's a gawdawful ruckus out there.  He gets to the barn to find two Rotts high tailing it out of there.  He's left with a couple of dead calves, and some badly mangled ones.

Walt leaves his wife with the calves and takes off in his truck after them.  Fortunately, he knows where they're going, and catches up to them right before they head up their owners driveway and ...

BLAM, BLAM.

Next morning, the neighbor pulls in and demands to know if Walt is the one who shot his dogs.

Walt says "yes" and the man starts off about the dog's price and the AKC papers and whaterverthefuck and Walt says, "you want to come into my barn and see what's left of my calves and we can let the lawyers decide who owes who what, and if you don't like it go call the sherriff."

The man storms off, and may or may not have called the sheriff, but never bothered Walt again, and never had anymore dogs go wandering off his property.

So, the moral of the story is:
Shoot, Fess up to it and Tell the Bastards to CALL THE SHERIFF if they don't like it.

Rural Dog Wars: Part 1 - The Dogs Kept Coming

It has been suggested to me, on numerous occasions, that we rural folk have it easy with dog control, because all we have to do is apply the three S's, Shoot, Shovel and Shut up, and we can solve our troubles, and if we dare complain about our dog issues, we haven't done our rural duty to Shoot, Shovel and Shut up.

If it only were that easy.

Firstly, not all states allow shooting of dogs attacking livestock, and if you get caught, you might have to pay a fine, or worse.  Please research your state laws before you take a rifle into your hands and start shooting at the neighbor's dog, especially when they might witness you doing it.
 
Second, well, it ain't as easy as it sounds, and it ain't as effective as you might think.  

I'm not going to ask you to judge my own situation, but to listen to a few stories I've collected in the past year or so, after I finally had it and started telling everyone I know that I was going to shoot the next goddamned stray dog I saw on my property.

So here goes, Part 1:
The Dogs Kept Coming OR I'm Living in a Dog Cemetary

 This story came to my by way of a man I'll call Mark, who is my age and grew up on the piece of property I now own.  I have to go back aways before the story starts and let you know that up until the mid '90's this part of the country was range land.   If you're unfamiliar with what "range" designation is, that means your can let your stock wander and graze wherever and if a wayward driver hits your horse or cow, they are liable for the replacement cost of your horse or cow (or goat, or sheep, or..)  

Point is, it was REALLY rural back when this young man was growing up. Most of the property around was owned by Weyerhauser, the timber giant and most houses were and are the first setttlements on the properties they occupy.

Way back then, we worried about cougar, bear or coyotes taking stock, and since they are normally afraid of people, that didn't happen much.

THEN, the neighbors to this piece of property obtained a variance to the rural zoning and put in a 20 unit mobile home court.

Sounds horrid, doesn't it?  Well, remember that timber giant stuff?  The trees are so thick here, you can't see a one of them, or hear anyone most of the time, BUT they all moved in with their doggies and let 'em run.

Seriously.

It was when Mark was about 15 when he discovered his Palomino being shredded in her own stall.  I got this story when I first looked at this place and asked, 'what the hell happened to that shed?'

The poor mare tried to bust her way out, but couldn't do it.  The shed's far enough from the house that it took awhile to wake folks and by the time they got out there the poor horse was really hurt.

Mark was mad enough that he started shooting every dog he saw on the property and burying it.

Between 15 and the time he left for college he told me he shot and buried 21 dogs, before he stopped counting. 

Twenty-one, and still they kept coming, until his family finally got the mobile home court OWNERS to enforce dog regulations on their own property, but that was a long and expensive legal battle over not only the dogs. 

So, my point is, SSS doesn't do a damned thing for you except to get rid of the immediate threat, and having a sharp shooter kid at home is a help.  Problem is, the idiot dog owners will just go out and get another dog and it will be on your property in no time.

There actually IS a better solution IF you can get a clean shot at the dogs AND the law is on your side.

Still Dumbfounded - So let's get real about "Punishing the Deed"

Kid dies; animal rights "activists" rush in to save the dog.

...

Woman gets mauled to death by dogs while taking her daily walk; that state's legislators rush to pass a laws to protect the doggies and the doggie owners.

...

Right. 

So, here's my counter proposal. (Not lawyer speak, I know)

Your dog kills someone who is not committing a felony crime against your person, you get charged with manslaughter and the dog is euthanized. 

Your dog maims a person who is not committing a felony (loss of limb, use of hand, eye, causes facial disfigurement, all of which can effect future earnings potential), you get charged with a felony and are on the hook for all future medical bills.  The dog is euthanized.

Your dog unprovoked bites a person or severely bites and/or kills another's animal off your property, or a person or animal legally on your property, you're on the hook for all medical/vet bills and must better control your dog in the future.  If it happens again, you get charged with a felony and your dog is euthanized.


Am I missing anything?

Why would anyone want to "save" this dog?

I read this post (thank you, dear author) and an dumbfounded as to why anyone would want to save a dog that mauled a baby to death.

Seems to me that a dog that kills a family member violates the prime directive of dogdom - Thou Shalt Not Injure Thy Human Family.

See, there was a deal made between humans and dogs thousands of years ago.  You, dog, can hang out at our camps and eat our scraps, as long as you do no harm to us. 

In exchange for our scraps, you'll bark to warn us of larger predators, pick off a few rodents, and DO NO HARM TO THE PEOPLE IN THE CAMP.

Human, way back then, and up until the '60's or '70's, seemed to understand that those dogs that violated this agreement had to be "sent to the farm", culled, killed, you know, the smart thing.

When I was a kid, I had a  dog that bit a neighbor girl, not once, but on two separate occasions.  My parents, flawed as they were, "sent the dog to the farm".  At six, I already 'knew' what that meant.  IT took me awhile to understand that that end was a necessary evil.

Sad, very sad, but dogs that bite unprovoked, lose their cushy lives of being camp followers.

So what's with these people who want to save dogs that have KILLED?  Hell, they just "culled" an african elephant, and endangered WILD species, for overturning a car.

Why save DOGS THAT HAVE KILLED? 

It's not just one, hell, there's a whole ORGANIZATION that does nothing but save dogs that have killed our mauled people.  Maybe more than one.

I like (some) dogs.  I know there are millions of dogs euthanized each year, most for doing nothing wrong at all.  And I'd bet thousands, if not tens of thousands, are killed because their owners fell on hard times, or died before their pets did. 

These were LOVED animals that did no harm. 

What motivates a person to save the dangerous dog, no, not just save it, but cherish it, and ignore the dozens of dogs with 'normal' pasts that are probably no more than an hour's drive away waiting to die in the local shelter?

Makes no sense to me. 

Here's a fun factoid - WA State Congress Proposes to Change Law

Basically, these law makers,  Appleton, Reykdal, Goodman, and Haigh, wish to amend the law so it says no community in WA can pass legislation banning a particular breed or breed of dog.

They also stuff in a lot of "without regard to the breed of dog" clauses in the old law.

What do YOU think?



H-2930.1 _____________________________________________
HOUSE BILL 2117
_____________________________________________
State of Washington 63rd Legislature 2014 Regular Session
By Representatives Appleton, Reykdal, Goodman, and Haigh
Prefiled 12/10/13. Read first time 01/13/14. Referred to Committee on
Judiciary.
1 AN ACT Relating to preventing breed-based dog regulations; amending
2 RCW 16.08.070, 16.08.080, 16.08.090, and 16.08.100; and creating a new
3 section.
4 BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF WASHINGTON:
5 NEW SECTION. Sec. 1. (1) A number of local jurisdictions have
6 enacted ordinances prohibiting or placing additional restrictions on
7 specific breeds of dogs. While the legislature recognizes that local
8 jurisdictions have a valid public safety interest in protecting
9 citizens from dog attacks, the legislature finds that a dog's breed is
10 not inherently indicative of whether or not the dog is dangerous and
11 that the criteria for determining whether or not a dog is dangerous or
12 potentially dangerous should be focused on the dog's behavior.
13 (2) The legislature further finds that breed-specific ordinances
14 fail to address any of the factors that cause dogs to become aggressive
15 and place an undue hardship on responsible dog owners who provide
16 proper socialization and training. The legislature intends to redirect
17 the focus away from particular breeds and to instead encourage local
18 jurisdictions to employ more effective and data-driven prevention
19 models to control dangerous dogs and enhance public safety.
p. 1 HB 2117
1 Sec. 2. RCW 16.08.070 and 2002 c 244 s 1 are each amended to read
2 as follows:
3 ((Unless the context clearly requires otherwise,)) The definitions
4 in this section apply throughout RCW 16.08.070 through 16.08.100 unless
5 the context clearly requires otherwise.
6 (1) "Potentially dangerous dog" means any dog, without regard to
7 the breed of the dog, that when unprovoked: (a) Inflicts bites on a
8 human or a domestic animal either on public or private property, or (b)
9 chases or approaches a person upon the streets, sidewalks, or any
10 public grounds in a menacing fashion or apparent attitude of attack, or
11 any dog, without regard to the breed of the dog, with a known
12 propensity, tendency, or disposition to attack unprovoked, to cause
13 injury, or to cause injury or otherwise to threaten the safety of
14 humans or domestic animals.
15 (2) "Dangerous dog" means any dog, without regard to the breed of
16 the dog, that (a) inflicts severe injury on a human being without
17 provocation on public or private property, (b) kills a domestic animal
18 without provocation while the dog is off the owner's property, or (c)
19 has been previously found to be potentially dangerous because of injury
20 inflicted on a human, the owner having received notice of such and the
21 dog again aggressively bites, attacks, or endangers the safety of
22 humans.
23 (3) "Severe injury" means any physical injury that results in
24 broken bones or disfiguring lacerations requiring multiple sutures or
25 cosmetic surgery.
26 (4) "Proper enclosure of a dangerous dog" means, while on the
27 owner's property, a dangerous dog shall be securely confined indoors or
28 in a securely enclosed and locked pen or structure, suitable to prevent
29 the entry of young children and designed to prevent the animal from
30 escaping. Such pen or structure shall have secure sides and a secure
31 top, and shall also provide protection from the elements for the dog.
32 (5) "Animal control authority" means an entity acting alone or in
33 concert with other local governmental units for enforcement of the
34 animal control laws of the city, county, and state and the shelter and
35 welfare of animals.
36 (6) "Animal control officer" means any individual employed,
37 contracted with, or appointed by the animal control authority for the
38 purpose of aiding in the enforcement of this chapter or any other law
HB 2117 p. 2
1 or ordinance relating to the licensure of animals, control of animals,
2 or seizure and impoundment of animals, and includes any state or local
3 law enforcement officer or other employee whose duties in whole or in
4 part include assignments that involve the seizure and impoundment of
5 any animal.
6 (7) "Owner" means any person, firm, corporation, organization, or
7 department possessing, harboring, keeping, having an interest in, or
8 having control or custody of an animal.
9 Sec. 3. RCW 16.08.080 and 2002 c 244 s 2 are each amended to read
10 as follows:
11 (1) Any city or county that has a notification and appeal procedure
12 with regard to determining a dog within its jurisdiction to be
13 dangerous may continue to utilize or amend its procedure. A city or
14 county animal control authority that does not have a notification and
15 appeal procedure in place as of June 13, 2002, and seeks to declare a
16 dog within its jurisdiction, as defined in subsection (7) of this
17 section, to be dangerous must serve notice upon the dog owner in person
18 or by regular and certified mail, return receipt requested.
19 (2) The notice must state: The statutory basis for the proposed
20 action; the reasons the authority considers the animal dangerous; a
21 statement that the dog is subject to registration and controls required
22 by this chapter, including a recitation of the controls in subsection
23 (6) of this section; and an explanation of the owner's rights and of
24 the proper procedure for appealing a decision finding the dog
25 dangerous.
26 (3) Prior to the authority issuing its final determination, the
27 authority shall notify the owner in writing that he or she is entitled
28 to an opportunity to meet with the authority, at which meeting the
29 owner may give, orally or in writing, any reasons or information as to
30 why the dog should not be declared dangerous. The notice shall state
31 the date, time, and location of the meeting, which must occur prior to
32 expiration of fifteen calendar days following delivery of the notice.
33 The owner may propose an alternative meeting date and time, but such
34 meeting must occur within the fifteen-day time period set forth in this
35 section. After such meeting, the authority must issue its final
36 determination, in the form of a written order, within fifteen calendar
37 days. In the event the authority declares a dog to be dangerous, the
p. 3 HB 2117
1 order shall include a recital of the authority for the action, a brief
2 concise statement of the facts that support the determination, and the
3 signature of the person who made the determination. The order shall be
4 sent by regular and certified mail, return receipt requested, or
5 delivered in person to the owner at the owner's last address known to
6 the authority.
7 (4) If the local jurisdiction has provided for an administrative
8 appeal of the final determination, the owner must follow the appeal
9 procedure set forth by that jurisdiction. If the local jurisdiction
10 has not provided for an administrative appeal, the owner may appeal a
11 municipal authority's final determination that the dog is dangerous to
12 the municipal court, and may appeal a county animal control authority's
13 or county sheriff's final determination that the dog is dangerous to
14 the district court. The owner must make such appeal within twenty days
15 of receiving the final determination. While the appeal is pending, the
16 authority may order that the dog be confined or controlled in
17 compliance with RCW 16.08.090. If the dog is determined to be
18 dangerous, the owner must pay all costs of confinement and control.
19 (5) It is unlawful for an owner to have a dangerous dog in the
20 state without a certificate of registration issued under this section.
21 This section and RCW 16.08.090 and 16.08.100 shall not apply to police
22 dogs as defined in RCW 4.24.410.
23 (6) Unless a city or county has a more restrictive code
24 requirement, the animal control authority of the city or county in
25 which an owner has a dangerous dog shall issue a certificate of
26 registration to the owner of such animal if the owner presents to the
27 animal control unit sufficient evidence of:
28 (a) A proper enclosure to confine a dangerous dog and the posting
29 of the premises with a clearly visible warning sign that there is a
30 dangerous dog on the property. In addition, the owner shall
31 conspicuously display a sign with a warning symbol that informs
32 children of the presence of a dangerous dog;
33 (b) A surety bond issued by a surety insurer qualified under
34 chapter 48.28 RCW in a form acceptable to the animal control authority
35 in the sum of at least two hundred fifty thousand dollars, payable to
36 any person injured by the dangerous dog; or
37 (c) A policy of liability insurance, such as homeowner's insurance,
HB 2117 p. 4
1 issued by an insurer qualified under Title 48 RCW in the amount of at
2 least two hundred fifty thousand dollars, insuring the owner for any
3 personal injuries inflicted by the dangerous dog.
4 (7)(a)(i) If an owner has the dangerous dog in an incorporated area
5 that is serviced by both a city and a county animal control authority,
6 the owner shall obtain a certificate of registration from the city
7 authority;
8 (ii) If an owner has the dangerous dog in an incorporated or
9 unincorporated area served only by a county animal control authority,
10 the owner shall obtain a certificate of registration from the county
11 authority;
12 (iii) If an owner has the dangerous dog in an incorporated or
13 unincorporated area that is not served by an animal control authority,
14 the owner shall obtain a certificate of registration from the office of
15 the local sheriff.
16 (b) This subsection does not apply if a city or county does not
17 allow dangerous dogs within its jurisdiction.
18 (8) Cities and counties may charge an annual fee, in addition to
19 regular dog licensing fees, to register dangerous dogs.
20 (9) Except as provided in RCW 16.08.090(4), nothing in this section
21 limits a local authority in placing additional restrictions upon owners
22 of dangerous dogs. This section does not require a local authority to
23 allow a dangerous dog within its jurisdiction.
24 Sec. 4. RCW 16.08.090 and 1987 c 94 s 3 are each amended to read
25 as follows:
26 (1) It is unlawful for an owner of a dangerous dog to permit the
27 dog to be outside the proper enclosure unless the dog is muzzled and
28 restrained by a substantial chain or leash and under physical restraint
29 of a responsible person. The muzzle shall be made in a manner that
30 will not cause injury to the dog or interfere with its vision or
31 respiration but shall prevent it from biting any person or animal.
32 (2) Except as provided in subsection (4) of this section,
33 potentially dangerous dogs shall be regulated only by local, municipal,
34 and county ordinances. Nothing in this section limits restrictions
35 local jurisdictions may place on owners of potentially dangerous dogs.
36 (3) Dogs shall not be declared dangerous if the threat, injury, or
37 damage was sustained by a person who, at the time, was committing a
p. 5 HB 2117
1 ((wilful)) willful trespass or other tort upon the premises occupied by
2 the owner of the dog, or was tormenting, abusing, or assaulting the dog
3 or has, in the past, been observed or reported to have tormented,
4 abused, or assaulted the dog or was committing or attempting to commit
5 a crime.
6 (4) The breed of dog may not be considered when declaring a dog
7 dangerous or potentially dangerous. A local jurisdiction may not
8 prohibit possession of a particular breed of dog or declare a breed of
9 dog to be dangerous or potentially dangerous.
10 Sec. 5. RCW 16.08.100 and 2002 c 244 s 3 are each amended to read
11 as follows:
12 (1) Any dangerous dog shall be immediately confiscated by an animal
13 control authority if the: (a) Dog is not validly registered under RCW
14 16.08.080; (b) owner does not secure the liability insurance coverage
15 required under RCW 16.08.080; (c) dog is not maintained in the proper
16 enclosure; or (d) dog is outside of the dwelling of the owner, or
17 outside of the proper enclosure and not under physical restraint of the
18 responsible person. The owner must pay the costs of confinement and
19 control. The animal control authority must serve notice upon the dog
20 owner in person or by regular and certified mail, return receipt
21 requested, specifying the reason for the confiscation of the dangerous
22 dog, that the owner is responsible for payment of the costs of
23 confinement and control, and that the dog will be destroyed in an
24 expeditious and humane manner if the deficiencies for which the dog was
25 confiscated are not corrected within twenty days. The animal control
26 authority shall destroy the confiscated dangerous dog in an expeditious
27 and humane manner if any deficiencies required by this subsection are
28 not corrected within twenty days of notification. In addition, the
29 owner shall be guilty of a gross misdemeanor punishable in accordance
30 with RCW 9A.20.021.
31 (2) If a dangerous dog of an owner with a prior conviction under
32 this chapter attacks or bites a person or another domestic animal, the
33 dog's owner is guilty of a class C felony, punishable in accordance
34 with RCW 9A.20.021. It is an affirmative defense that the defendant
35 must prove by a preponderance of the evidence that he or she was in
36 compliance with the requirements for ownership of a dangerous dog
37 pursuant to this chapter and the person or domestic animal attacked or
HB 2117 p. 6
1 bitten by the defendant's dog trespassed on the defendant's real or
2 personal property or provoked the defendant's dog without justification
3 or excuse. In addition, the dangerous dog shall be immediately
4 confiscated by an animal control authority, placed in quarantine for
5 the proper length of time, and thereafter destroyed in an expeditious
6 and humane manner.
7 (3) The owner of any dog that aggressively attacks and causes
8 severe injury or death of any human, whether or not the dog has
9 previously been declared potentially dangerous or dangerous, shall,
10 upon conviction, be guilty of a class C felony punishable in accordance
11 with RCW 9A.20.021. It is an affirmative defense that the defendant
12 must prove by a preponderance of the evidence that the human severely
13 injured or killed by the defendant's dog: (a) Trespassed on the
14 defendant's real or personal property which was enclosed by fencing
15 suitable to prevent the entry of young children and designed to prevent
16 the dog from escaping and marked with clearly visible signs warning
17 people, including children, not to trespass and to beware of dog; or
18 (b) provoked the defendant's dog without justification or excuse on the
19 defendant's real or personal property which was enclosed by fencing
20 suitable to prevent the entry of young children and designed to prevent
21 the dog from escaping and marked with clearly visible signs warning
22 people, including children, not to trespass and to beware of dog. In
23 such a prosecution, the state has the burden of showing that the owner
24 of the dog either knew or should have known that the dog was
25 potentially dangerous as defined in this chapter. The state may not
26 meet its burden of proof that the owner should have known the dog was
27 potentially dangerous ((solely)) by showing the dog to be a particular
28 breed or breeds. In addition, the dog shall be immediately confiscated
29 by an animal control authority, quarantined, and upon conviction of the
30 owner destroyed in an expeditious and humane manner.
31 (4) Any person entering a dog in a dog fight is guilty of a class
32 C felony punishable in accordance with RCW 9A.20.021.
--- END ---
p. 7 HB 2117

I blame Barbara Woodhouse

I blame Barbara Woodhouse, remember her?  "Walkies!"?

I think she was the first one to really gain attention with the line "no bad dogs".

I understand the motivation, she was famous in the era I came from where rolled up newspapers and "rubbing their nose in it" were common training techniques.  Probably not the best for the dog.

Anyway, what appears to have happened in the average dog owner's mind, is that No Bad Dogs implies Dogs can do No Wrong.

Dogs can do No Wrong, means that if the dog does something that appears wrong, than it MUST be the humans' fault.

TADA!  Dogs suddenly are a vengeful deities who must be placated, appeased and sacrificed to so that nothing bad happens to their human subjects.

Dog bite you?  It's your fault, you must have provoked it!

Dog kills your livestock?  You should have put up a better fence!

Dog harasses your animals and you shoot it?  You HORRIBLE PERSON!  It was just PLAYING!  HOW DARE you kill my DOG just to save your worthless animals?

Dog barks all day?  He's just trying to protect his owners!

Dog kills your kid?  Well, just see the comments after any news article of the sort and you'll see all the nauseating excuses.

Yo! Moron! Voice control means CONTROL!

So I nearly ran over your freaking dog yesterday as it darted across two lanes of rush hour highway traffic in pursuit of a jogger on the other side of the road from you and where IT should have stayed.

Again I kick myself for having too fast (or maybe too slow) reflexes that kept be from running down your mutt  and instead slamming on my brakes and honking my horn.

Don't know if the jogger was attacked or not, but that damned dog didn't even bat an eye with all the noise my car was making and you, YOU pathetically ran 20 yards behind it carrying a leash.

The leash SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON YOUR EFFING DOG, YOU USELESS WASTE OF SKIN!

You LET you damned dog off leash, you DAMNED WELL BETTER HAVE CONTROL OVER IT!

Yeah, yeah, I know this is a hard concept, I had difficulties with it myself, when I as SIX.

Yep, when I was six, I got my first puppy.  Second dog, first puppy.  One hard headed Keeshund that didn't believe for a second that a punk kid should outta tell it what to do.  

Took a bit 'fore my Mom realized this situation wasn't going to sort itself out successfully,  but then she laid down the law.  You take the dog out of the yard, the dog's gonna be on a leash, and if you can't hold onto the leash, the dog doesn't go off the property again.

See that?  Isn't that hard, it is?

Oh wait, you don't know what voice CONTROL is still, do you?  You think running after your dog yelling it's name is some kind of control, don't you?  I mean, it will EVENTUALLY stop, maybe, like when I run it over with a car, or somebody shoots it for attacking them, or it gets hungry or it runs into a wall... 

Got news for you, that's not control.

THIS is CONTROL.  Watch.  Take notes.   You can't control your animal that well with voice commands?  Then DON'T LET IT OFF THE LEASH!

Guest Post - Sometimes, I feel guilty about what happened to your dog

Sometimes, I feel guilty about what happened to your dog.

I see how much my friends love their dogs.  They take care to keep them safe with fenced-in yards, obedience school, and Flexi-leads.  They’d grieve long and hard if any harm ever came to their pet.  If they thought they could have prevented their dog from being hurt, they’d carry the burden of such a failure with them for all of their lives.

Sometimes, I feel guilty about what happened to you dog, but then I remember that it wasn’t my fault.

You moved into the triple-decker at the end of my street when I was in elementary school.  Immigrants from a war-torn country, you assimilated nicely in the suburbs, hanging your laundry on the clothesline outside and sending your kids to Girl Scouts on Wednesday afternoons.  I had just started middle school when you got Stormy*.

She was a lab mix with solid black fur and the pricked ears of a German Shepherd.  I never saw her in your yard.  I never saw her in your house.  I never saw her on a leash, although our city had a leash law and my mother called the animal control officer nearly every day about Stormy.

I did see her as she leaped from her sleeping place in the middle of our street to jump on me and knock me down on my way to school every day, her jaws snapping and claws tearing into my clothes.  The animal control officer feared you, telling us that you were in the Mafia, no small accusation in the land of Whitey Bulger.

I’d leave the house each morning in trepidation of the abuse to come.  Sometimes I’d be able to get by Stormy and make my way to my friend’s house so we could walk the remainder of the way to school together.  But more often than not, I’d stand in the road in tears before retreating back home to get my father.  My fondest memories of my father are those where he’d lead me down the street, a stick in his hand to beat the dog when it tried to attack me.

My mother was not so kind.  She’s rail at me for waking my father who had just fallen asleep after a night of working third shift.  I felt useless and small when I was unable to defend myself against Stormy’s torment.

When I got to high school, the bus picked up the kids one street away from mine.  Stormy still slept in my street, blocking the route between my house and the school bus stop.  I used to be a good student, but I missed the bus often.  If I was lucky enough to get a ride, waking my tired father and getting a note for the homeroom teacher, I’d only miss half of my first class.  If I had to walk the whole way, five miles distant, I’d miss more.

I was never good in math.  Staying after school for extra help wasn’t an option because I feared little else more than having to negotiate a safe passage past Stormy when I was alone walking up my street.  I missed making the Honor Roll every year because of my math grade.  When I clutched my books to my chest as I walked by Stormy, I didn’t understand how much Stormy was shaping shaped my life.  I only felt the paralyzing fear of a child who was threatened by a vicious beast from whom no one could protect her.

After I graduated from high school, I didn't get into a four year college.  I went to a Community College for two years and landed a job as a retail manager at a store at the mall.  The work was hard and customers were annoying, especially during the holiday season when I was kept late at night, sometimes not getting home until well after midnight.

I never saw Stormy, but I heard her yelp loudly as my wheels ran over her on a night when the roads were slick with rain.  I pulled into my driveway, hoping there were no blood stains on my car.

“A black dog... sleeping in the middle of a dark road,” my father said when he learned the news of Stormy’s death from the neighbors the next morning.  “It’s a wonder it didn't happen sooner.”

*Story submitted by a dog-hating friend.  Dog's name changed to protect, uh, somebody.

Hey YOU! Ya moved out into the country to GIVE YOUR DOG ROOM TO RUN

I hate YOU and YOUR DOG.

Why?

Well, for one, I don't like playing dodge-em-doggie at 60 MPH, especially in the DARK and the RAIN.  Frankly, if I weren't worried about body damage, I run it right over.  And ya know what?  If' I'm hauling horses, I'm not going to hurt them to try avoid your mutt.

But that's not the main reason.  The main reason why I HATE YOUR DOG, and every livestock owner I know HATES YOUR DOG is that your dog is a THREAT to my animals.

Oh, but your doggie wouldn't hurt a fly.  Well, I'm not going to give it a chance.  Any dog near my stock is vermin as far as I'm concerned, and I'll take it out if I can get a shot at it.

No, I'm not going to call Animal Control, they've got their head stuck too far up in the dark to actually CONTROL animals.  In fact, I've been TOLD by AC that the best thing to do is to shoot first and forget about the questions.

Shoot, Shovel and Shut up is what most farmers do. However, because the law in this state is that any dog caught, chasing, harassing or killing livestock can be shot on sight, the best advice I've heard was from one old farmer who said, shoot them and if you know the owner, contact them and have them call the Sheriff, and let the Sheriff read them the law.

Knowing the law keeps SOME of you idiot owners from doing the same thing with your next dog.

Seriously, you don't have a clue how bad it gets.  People who let your dogs run, blow off any request for compensation or assistance with boundary fencing.  Ha, Ha! Your chickens got killed!  Oopsie, you lost another lamb to my poochie.  We'll try to keep him in. 

Sure you will.

Yep, I hate your dog.

Hate it so much, I'll shoot it on sight.

And I'm an animal lover.  Ninty percent of the dogs I've had, have been pound pups.  But my sympathy for random dog X ends right at my property line. 

Hey, HEY!  I got an idea!  You keep your DAMNED MUTT on your property and I won't run it over or shoot it, OKAY?

YOU - the one with the ROBOBARKER

YOU, the Jerk who lets their dog bark NONSTOP

I hate you AND your dog and I've met you WAAAAY too many times.

First time I discovered I could hate a dog was because of you and the robobarker that you chained out in front of your yard, every day, for hours at a time, while it barked, barked, barked at nothing. 

Your stupid little dump of a house was low class in a working class neighborhood, two bedrooms, one bath, but you had a big yard.  Did you bother to fence that yard so your dog didn't have to be tied on a 5' chain right across from my Mom's bedroom window?  That damned dog was closer to my Mom's bed than I am to my current garage right now, the lots were so tiny and the street so small.  

Nope.  You chained your doberman out there every day, while my newly divorced Mom, who worked nights trying to support us kids, TRIED to sleep, so she wouldn't drive off the road on her 70 mile one way commute to work.

My Mom, who couldn't afford to move because in those days nurses didn't get paid squat, and the price of gas had just tripled, but the mortgage was low and there was nothing, nothing she could buy with no credit near her work.

And bark, bark, bark, bark went your dog, and you just ignored it.

Your neighbor two doors down, the crazy one who used to make money off of the military blackmarket while he was a supply clerk, used his connections to get supped up firecrackers to throw out into his yard, just to try to get your dog to shut up.  That worked for about ten minutes, then that stupid animal would bark, bark, bark again.

Nothing like a barking dog AND explosives to help an overworked divorced mother sleep so she could head out for the night shift.

and bark, bark, bark, bark went your dog, day after day, after day.  And you didn't give a flying fuck about your neighbors, or the fact that my Mom used to get severe headaches due to a previous car accident and your damned dog wasn't helping those any, let me tell you.  

No, you just stuck that damned dog out in front of your house and all your neighbors had to suffer.

Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark...

I can't tell you how many hours I spent in headphones trying to drown out your stupid dog while I was trying to do my homework.  

Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark...

Least I did, and graduated from school, with honors, got a good job, moved out of that dump, bought a farm, where I SOMETIMES can get some piece and quiet.

Now, everytime I hear a dog bark, bark,barking endlessly, stupidly, robotically, I think of you creeps and your totally lack of consideration of anyone around you.  

If you're dead, my darling former neighbors, I can only hope your hell is filled with stupid, bored dogs, chained by your bedside bark, bark, barking, so you get an eternity of hell after death, like the hell you made my Mom live in while you were alive.

I so hate you and your dog.